This is one of my favorite topics. My team is team Cathy. And I am the leader of my team. So if I am not being on team Cathy, no one else is either…
So you know when life seems to be throwing you all the curve balls? Everything seems to be a hurdle? It’s that day when no one is helpful and every traffic light is RED! It doesn’t stop there though, right? Cars are pulling out in front of you. You seem to be in everyone’s way? It’s just everything all at once! Maybe a friend needs to have a talk with you…. Just all the things..
You know what I am talking about! it’s a crap day and it just seems to be escalating to no end. Well even though it may look like everything is lined up against you, I want to propose that it is just not the case. Just consider that it might just be you that it is actually you that is against you. You may not actually be on your own team.
And this is really good news, right? Because if it were true that there were some ominous all-pervading universe that is stacked up against you, you are basically screwed. Because what can you do about that? Nothing! That would mean you are a defenseless victim that is just waiting for your turn to get pummeled. No way. That is not what is happening here.
Isn’t it true that there are some days when red lights and people cutting you off, don’t bother you at all? The question is this, why are you making it mean something negative today? Maybe you are dealing with something difficult at home or work. Maybe you are up against something that you are feeling uncertain about that is causing you to feel frustrated or insecure.
My point is, the problem is not ALL the things that seem to be coming at you. Underneath it all, there is something else going on that is begging for your attention.
So here is what you can do to get back on your own team. Next time you are feeling like everything is stacked against you, try these 3 simple steps to turn your day completely around.
Are you ready?
Step one: STOP and take a few deep breaths. Yes, just stop to notice that there is something going on inside of you that is crying out for your attention. This a very powerful step in bringing awareness.
If you are driving, find a place to pull off the road. If you are working, just take a break and find a quiet place where you can breathe. If you are arguing with someone, call a time out, and take a walk or just take some space.
Step two: Ask yourself how you are feeling and what you are thinking about that is causing those feelings. Tap in to the feeling you are having and write it down. Also write down any thoughts you might be having that may be triggering those feelings. Be honest with yourself here and don’t hold back. Write down all the thoughts. If it is anger you are feeling, write down what you are angry about. If you are angry with someone, let them have it on paper! You don’t have to be nice or protect their feelings, this is your journal time. You have got to give yourself permission to fully unleash these feelings. And be totally, unapologetically unenlightened! If you don’t let it out, those feelings will get buried deeper inside of you. Trust me, that is not what you want.
Step 3: Be your own best friend. That’s right. Here is when you are going to hold loving space for yourself. Loving space is not telling yourself to “get over it” or “this is nothing to be complaining about.” Nope. That is not loving at all.
Loving is giving yourself permission and space to feel however your feeling. Letting yourself know it’s totally okay to feel how you feel. I like to imagine myself holding my inner child while stroking her hair and saying things like, “I love you honey, exactly as you are.” “You’re okay.” “It’s okay to be mad. “
Be kind to yourself. It’s very powerful. Because the truth is, if you are having one of those days when it feels like the world is against you, you probably are not being very kind to yourself.
So just take some time to allow the feelings to be there for as long as they need to until they have been fully expressed and they can dissolve into the nothingness from wince it came.
And That’s it! That is the practice of holding space for your feelings. And that, my friend, is being on your own team!
Try it out. Blessed be
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