One door closes another one opens
You may have noticed, if you have been listening to this podcast for awhile, that I tend to view life as a journey. I see everyone I meet and all my experiences as a part of my own unique curriculum. Looking at everything through the “Life is a Journey” lens gives me a sense of purpose, even if I don’t know where I am headed at that moment. And the truth is, none of us knows all the time where we are headed. But seeing life in this way I find it so much easier to keep moving forward, even when life gets tough. I like to think of it like I am the captain of my ship and it’s my job to show up and steer the ship no matter what. And the ocean is unpredictable, so you gotta take it as it comes. When a big storm comes along, you gotta roll with it. Resisting is futile. Cursing it only makes the whole experience harder for you. Same with life.
When life throws you an unexpected, unwanted, negative experience, it doesn’t help the situation to shake your fist in the air about it. Sure you can shake your fist. You can do whatever you want. But while you are busy shaking your head about the things not going your way, you just might be missing out on the alternative possibilities presenting themselves. When one door closes, another door opens.
Now I am not saying don’t feel remorse or disappointment, or anger or rage. It’s important to feel those things. In fact, my M.O. is I feel them until I am ready to let them go. And then when I am finished feeling my feelings, I leave the thing behind me and move on my way. No part of me is looking back at that door that closed. Why? Because I might just miss the door that is opening right in front of me.
Here is a fun little example, I was just recently on my way back from Montreal, going through customs and my bag was tagged for search. They had discovered the bottle of locally made caramel that I was excited to bring back and share. The guy was nice about it, but he had to confiscate it. Yes, this a very small sacrifice to have to make but I was bummed. And I took a moment to feel really sad and even shed a tear. It was 4am, so there is that. But that little delay provided me the exact timing I needed to land me in line with someone who became a new friend. You just never know what will happen on this journey, right? And it’s just way more interesting to look forward for what might be just around the bend, rather than dragging around a heavy load of resentment about the past. When you hold on to the way you think life should have gone, you literally miss the many things that are being offered in their stead. Right? Because it’s when you are open, that amazing opportunities come your way. It’s when you are standing tall with eyes wide open. Not when you are cranky and closed down wishing life were some other way than it is...
There is another kind of resistance that keeps you from moving forward on your journey. It’s the “why me” mantra. Do you ever find yourself saying, why me? Why is this happening to me? This is a big way to stop yourself from moving forward. I used this a lot when my kid was in her late teens doing crazy things. I stayed stuck in “why me” for a good long while. It’s easy to do! But it is a victim story. And it is very easy to get stuck there. Even Jesus Christ, according to the crucifixion story, went there. “God, why have you forsaken me?” Why me? It’s natural step along the path to empowerment. But it IS only a step. It’s not the end game. The story keeps going.
The Course describes the crucifixion story in a way that I really relate to. It says, “look at the crucifixion, but do not dwell there”. And that is basically saying, yes, fully experience being a victim of the painful experience, speak out about it if that is what is your heart is calling for and really get in touch with your feelings for whatever amount of time it takes. But the end goal is not to dwell in being a victim forever. The goal is to move through that painful experience that you may live a bigger life. Ah that a person can take an experience in which they were hurt in some way, turn it around in whatever way feels true for them, and then burn that story and live to see another day that is a hell of a lot brighter.
Now let’s get real current. The "Me Too" movement is an empowering time. My hope for each woman who is bringing her victim experience into the light, that she can move through the process resurrected anew. So she can fully reclaim her right to live a full vibrant life. Yes, share it, feel it, express it and then when you are ready….move past it to live life stronger than ever.