The world is calling for all of us to put ourselves out there and share who we really are. Whether it is in an interaction with a stranger or a friend, or whether it is putting yourself out there for the whole world to see. We are all being called to share our unique authentic selves. There is a deep need that we all have to be seen and acknowledged. I believe it’s because we each hold inside a special kind of magic that’s needed to heal the whole. The experience of sharing your magic and having it be received is beyond powerful. Whether it’s sharing your truth with a loved one or sharing your message to the masses, it feels like a mission complete.
However, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to put yourself out there without hiding some parts of yourself, because it’s vulnerable. Putting yourself out there means that you have to face some uncomfortable things, like rejection. On the whole, we don’t tend to like being rejected, because we also have an even deeper need to be accepted.
Putting out this podcast in 2018 was a huge step for me. It was the first time I ever really put myself out there. Pressing the button to release, and then poof, the rest was out of my control, and 100% out of my comfort zone! Before that, I played everything really safe. I used to be proud of having a decade of nothing but 5 star reviews. Now I think, wow, that’s some kind of micromanaging-control-freak-kinda-crazy. I didn’t want to be seen for anything less than perfect so I didn’t really let myself be seen at all. I’m anything but perfect. Well, I’m perfectly me, which is a long-shot from anyone’s idea of perfection other than my own, now that I adore all of my idiosyncrasies.
For decades though, I remained pretty much hidden.
Maybe you can relate to this, but for as long as I can remember, I truly believed deep down, that if I really let myself play full out, I’d be too much for people. I turned the dial way down on Cathy, to make everyone else around me comfortable. I can trace it back to being a hippie kid in small-town Texas. The kids I went to public school with, and I know some of them are actually reading this, didn’t know what to do with me. I probably looked like I had been living in the woods being raised by wolves, when I showed up on that first day of kindergarten with my messy hair and mismatched secondhand clothes. My mama was definitely rebelling against society and she just let me run wild. I then was kind of tossed into public school without having a clue on how to be civilized. It was a major culture shock. Of course the kids poked fun at me, but I was really sensitive and it hurt to be rejected like that. I would run and hide, hoping nobody would notice me. I quickly learned how to get out of the line of fire, and by the time I got to middle school, I figured out how to “fit in” more or less. Basically, I learned how to hide who I really am and it was a good strategy. I survived.
For too many years, I lived with this underlying fear that if I show up in the world in all my raw magnificent glory, I would be rejected.
But here is what I have come to realize: rejection doesn’t actually mean death. Another person’s response to my magic doesn’t define my magic. Their reaction doesn’t actually mean anything at all unless I make it mean something.
This realization broke the ultimate co-dependent relationship I was having with the world. I don’t need you to accept me in order for me to know I am amazing. I only need to accept myself and know that I am amazing. Talk about reclaiming power, right? If I am depending on you for approval, then I am giving you all the power, but standing in my own sovereignty, regardless of the world outside, the power is mine. I own it. It may seem really simple, but it’s huge! Here’s the thing to remember, that is so easy to forget:
The world is just one big giant mirror.
You aren’t going to get anything from the mirror that you are not giving to yourself, so your job is to learn how to love, honor, respect, acknowledge and accept yourself for exactly who you are. When you can do that, you become invincible, and life is way more fun! What ends up happening, is that the world begins to reflect all that love and acknowledgement back on you.
When someone comes along and is unable to accept you for the amazing beautiful mess that you are, it’s just because they haven’t learned how to love and accept themselves. Instead of feeling hurt by their rejection, you feel compassion.
This is a timely subject as I find myself ready to take everything to the next level, allowing myself to be seen more fully than ever before. It feels exciting and vulnerable and everything in between. Stay tuned.