I have spent a lot of years studying and experimenting with manifesting my best life. I have found our limited minds cannot land us into the ultimate expression of what is possible. The mind is filled with limitations, blocks, stories of not being good enough etc. etc. etc. One of the benefits of age is that you start to get bored by those stories. You can choose to be limited by the rules your mind makes up… or you can decide otherwise. To hell with all the stories about how something can’t happen. I am way more interested in what’s possible when we get out of our own way.
So let’s just bypass the stories about not being smart enough, good enough, or about not knowing what you want, because that too is just a story that blocks the door to knowing. If you don’t yet know what you want, don’t let that be a show stopper. Instead, look at it as a window into possibility and ask to be guided. Perhaps you’re someone who doesn’t want to decide because you don’t want to narrow your options; isn’t not deciding also narrowing your options? Not committing to a direction leaves you standing at the fork in the road unable to move. Have you ever heard the Yogi Berra saying, “If you get to a fork in the road, take it”? So true. I have found that I learn and grow from every direction I have taken in my life, even those that ended up being painful or not working out the way I expected.
One of the ways I work with my clients is taking them through the process of working with intentions. Intention setting and reciting affirmations works wonders, but there is more to it than writing out some intentions and reciting them every day. If it were as easy as all that, everyone would be skipping around living their best life and we would all be living in paradise right now. Working with intentions does involve writing them out and speaking them, but there are some other steps as well that include decluttering your life of the things not in alignment with your intentions and making room for what you want to welcome in. This includes clutter in your home, your car, your purse, your mind, your interactions, your career, your habits, etc. Yeah, it’s involved.
This work also involves staying committed to your intentions. Keeping your arrow pointed in the direction of where you want to go. This is not easy either. Many things and temptations come along in life testing your resolve including people who don’t believe in you, or even friends or family members who are afraid of your growth.
Working on resetting your stories and your intentions creates new neural pathways so your mind gets in alignment with the life you want. This is a focus of my coaching program.
But the part of the process I want to talk about which has actually been the most challenging for me in my growth over the years is the final piece which is “letting go.” That’s right, letting go and surrendering the whole thing is probably the most important ingredient in the process of manifesting your dreams. Seems counterintuitive to the ego, which will then hold on to old stories. This is also the part where believing in a higher power comes in handy, whether you call it God, Divine intelligence, source energy, the universe.
One of the inevitable side-effects for a child growing up around alcoholism is an innate need for a sense of control that can last well into adulthood. Trusting in God or the universe to be in control and take care of me took some landing into. I needed some proof basically. Well, let’s just say I got mine. About six years ago I had to face some circumstances completely out of my control. It is still too fresh to share the details, but suffice to say it quite literally brought me to my knees in a cry for help. Seriously, up to that point, I believed there wasn’t anything that I couldn’t figure out on my own. This was different. My hands were in the air and I was calling out for a God I did not know. Before that day my motto was “I got this.” I worked HARD for it all and I was in control of my life, I had it! At least I thought I was. But I did NOT have this.
I was at the end of a rope I thought went on forever. Come to find out there was no more rope. I was free falling. At that point I wasn’t even grasping, I was THAT lost. I just let go. For the first time in my life I knew what letting go felt like. What happened next blew my mind. It was like angels came from every direction to take care of me and everything around me. I could have never arranged for a more beautiful clean-up plan. I have no idea how it happened, it just happened. I let go and something carried me. That was when I really felt the evidence of a higher power, God, the universe.
Even though that was the single worst experience of my life, I am grateful for the lesson that came from it: I am not in control. When I let go of the story that was now a nightmare, when I chose the intention to turn to my higher power, I let go and made room for something so much larger than me to come in and guide me in ways that were bigger and better than I could have thought up with my own limited perspective. So much bigger.
The final piece in manifesting your best destiny involves, you guessed it, releasing and letting go. Detaching from the outcome. Having faith the universe has your back. When you can do that, you open up to a life much grander than the one you are able to think up.
When I have my clients write up their intentions, the last one in the list is always, “I choose to create all of this or something better.” So set your intentions, absolutely. Aim your arrow in the direction of the life you want, YES! and then let go of the outcome.
So this message here is similar to the episode about my solo trip to Paris, If your really want your life to get good, sometimes you gotta get out of the driver’s seat and let the universe do it’s magic.
But the thing I want to talk about today is how to move in the direction of your best life using intention. Because energy flows where intention goes. There is a reason why affirmations are plastered all over social media. Because they actually do work…but there is a catch. The affirmations have to be alignment with the rest of your life for them to make a difference. For instance, you can put up affirmations all over your computer and your mirror and your refrigerator and even read them to yourself every
Morning and night, but if you still resent your partner for not taking out the trash or if you still choose to keep working at a job that you hate, nothing is going to change. You have to be willing move in the direction that the intention is pointing to.
Working with intentions is a powerful and strategic process that I love guiding my coaching clients through. And it’s involved
It takes focus, commitment, and letting go. Have I mentioned that it’s really helpful to have a coach when you are making these kinds of shifts in your life? Because it’s easy to lose your footing and your focus when you are the only one holding yourself accountable. Breaking old habits is hard enough, but identifying all the areas of your life that are holding you back is not easy to do on your own. Sometimes you need a second set of eyes. We all have blind spots. But harder still, is letting go of who you were so that you can make room for who you are becoming. Yep, it’s a dying process. In our country, we avoid death and letting go like the plague. We have Netflix and Amazon Prime.
SO the first part of intention setting is getting clear about what you want and writing out your intentions. This is the way you aim your arrow in the direction of what you want. And it’s important to take some time with this process and make sure the intentions are written to affirm the life you are claiming for yourself. There are strategies for this that I won’t go into right now, but will make available to when you sign up for my mailing list.
Once you have your intentions set then how do you work with them? One way is to write them out and then hand them off to universal intelligence, the divine, and just let it go. And so it is!
I like to create daily practice of engaging with the intentions once/day and then letting go and trusting in Divine intelligence that it if it is in the highest good for all, it will come to pass.
You can read your intentions out loud or read them while looking into the mirror everyday… I create an intention movie for my clients that they watch once each day. I love this method because you are engaging your mind in multiple ways as you work with your intentions. And as far as the intentions go, you just read the intention
The next thing is to carve away everything that is not in alignment with who you are becoming. Just how Michael Angelo described carving his masterpiece David. He just removed everything that was not David. This can be a challenging process. Especially if you are sentimental. But if you are stepping into a new version of yourself, you can’t keep the parts that don’t resonate. It just doesn’t work.
A simple example, if you are wanting to get healthy you are going to want to clean out your cabinets of all the junk food etc.
What I am talking about is a thorough cleanse of your life. And my suggestion is looking at a little bit each day. Perhaps starting with your house and clearing out whatever does not resonate with your intention. And it it’s not just the stuff. It’s also the patterns of behavior, the stories you are telling yourself, negative self talk, the conversations you are having, what you do for fun, who you spend your time with. Yeah, see what I mean. It’s a lot to look at on your own, but my suggestion is to take it one baby step at a time.