Taking the Leap

So I was sitting with my eyes closed waiting to hear what this podcast was going to be about. I listen for higher guidance and I write what I hear. As something started to come through it sounded really familiar. I even thought, didn’t I just write about this and listened back a few episodes and discovered it. “Taking Aim” had a similar theme, so I listened to it. I now realize “Take Aim” came to me exactly when it did because it was preparing me for what I was about to do!

Every day I realize more about the synchronistic way all of life is constantly flowing around us, through us and for us. The more you pay attention to the synchronicities, the more they just keep happening. Pay close attention to anything that feels like a coincidence. It most definitely has a message you need to hear. This is happening for all of us all of the time, we just don’t always see it. In fact, you may not even know what this particular episode has for you, but I have a whole-hearted trust that you need to hear this story.

One month ago I took the leap and jumped off a cliff that I had been standing on for some time. I made the decision to step away from being a hands on healer/practitioner. For almost 20 years I had been playing that role in some shape or form. Now I was holding on to two days a week at the studio while I was simultaneously opening up to all of the other creative projects knocking at my door. I was living a double life: owner and practitioner at Austin ashiatsu and also launching my life coaching business, creating this podcast and everything that comes with that. Then I received the calling to write a book to accompany a nine-month Birthing the Divine Feminine program I am co-creating (more about as that as it evolves). How could I not say yes to all of this? My body compass ways saying “OH HECK YES!” Then something strange started happening.

Side note: When you ask to be guided by Divine Intelligence, YOU WILL BE GUIDED. And it’s not subtle when you are asking consistently. I had been asking on a consistent basis for some time now.

I found it harder and harder for me to perform my role as healer at the studio. I started feeling exhausted at the end of the day instead of energized. I know exactly what that means, I coach people on this. My body was telling me: time to make a change. I fought it at first. But the knocks at the door only became louder. I started feeling like I was walking through quicksand to get through a single day – but only the days I was doing healing work at the studio. I was feeling heavier and heavier the more I held on.

With this decision, for the first time in my life, I offered the outcome to something bigger than me. If you have been following my podcast, I have been working my way up to this. Do you remember, “Get out of the Driver’s seat”? When I traveled to Paris by myself and it was more than I could handle on my own so I just let go and let the universe drive? And it was amazing?? I felt like I was being escorted by a loving invisible force that was making everything easy. Yeah! That was me building up my chops for this one… because this was big!

So I made the decision to stop being a hands on practitioner and I said, okay loving and divine presence I see what I am to do and I cannot do it on my own, I need you to do it. Show me where to go and what to do because this is all I have known. I am trusting in you that is all going to be okay. Just between you and me, my book keeper was uncertain. But I knew in my heart this was the decision. I could feel it in my body. I had a choice, did I want to choose my path forward based on numbers or did I want to choose based on where I was being guided by my body compass which always points me in the direction of my true north star. My best destiny.

I was clearly at a cross-road where I could feel two options. As I looked at the safe path I could feel my breathing getting shallow, I felt small. As I looked at the path my heart wanted me to go… toward my passionate creations… I felt expansive and free. So my answer was clear. I chose freedom and happiness over stability and comfort. Yep! I am living what I coach and I get to be an example. Because if I can do it, so can you!

I let my staff know and I began letting my clients know (If you are my client and you are hearing this for the first time, you are overdue for a massage!).

The month went by without a glitch. I have an amazing staff who have been trained by the best, and we have hundreds of amazing clients. Everyone seemed genuinely happy for me and I felt such an ease in everything I was doing. Then my final day arrived. I made it through the day, no problem.

But when I got home I felt a melt-down coming on. I felt disoriented, like what just happened. I felt a huge rush of fear with the voice in my head yelling at me. What have you done? Are you crazy? All the things the ego throws at you when your guard is down. I laid down and felt frozen. My legs wouldn’t move and my arms felt glued to the bed. I finally was able to get up and drag myself to my step-son’s room to let him know I needed his help with dinner. This was a big day, I said. He let out a big sigh and rolled his eyes in annoyance and let me know he would be there in a minute.

Something about his reaction jolted me into a realization. Standing in my dining room, I realized that I had asked to be carried through the transition from being a hands on masseuse to a life coach and I was carried through that – and delivered back to myself on the other side of it. Does that make sense? My higher power literally swooped me up and carried me through it all and as soon as we were through the hard part, I was laid gently into my bed. And when I landed back in my body with my ego, the weight of it all settled onto me.

In fact, looking back, every big change I have ever made has been so difficult I could barely get through it. Moving my business, or my residence. I would feel so overwhelmed that my back would go out or I would feel so tired I could hardly move. Everything felt so hard it’s a wonder I got anything done.

I realized in that moment I never wanted to do anything without Divine intervention ever again. In the episode “Take Aim” I reference the faith poem “Footprints in the Sand” to describe going through a challenging family experience. I didn’t know what to do, I felt lost and devastated and alone. That was the first time I ever surrendered and truly let go and let god.

These are choices I can make every day… to go it alone, or to ask for something bigger than me to move through me, to advocate for me. I can see now this divine calling didn’t come from me, it came through me, for me. My job now is to show up and allow myself to be guided by it. To ask what steps I can make today. I trust the divine. I trust it will manifest through me, for me, something better than what I could ever attempt to contrive through my own control. This divine is here to teach me something I don’t already know. The more I let go and allow it to lead the way, the more the energy can flow and grow. That is exciting. So I am just going to keep showing up not thinking I know and asking to be guided and I invite you to come with me.

So, my friend, is there a change you have been wanting to make but fear has been holding you hostage? I hope this story inspires you to at least look at it with a new pair of glasses and ask some deeper questions. And if you ever want to talk, you can email me at cathy@thelifecoachingspot.com. Or if you identify as a woman, you can join the private facebook group “the life coaching spot” where you can have a safe space to post any questions or thoughts you may have. Now that I have freed up some time, I will have time to visit the page more regularly.

And I want to share with you everything that is coming. So if you have not signed up for my mailing list, please visit the website thelifecoachingspot.com and get on it. You will automatically be entered into a monthly drawing for a free 45 minute coaching call with me. If your name isn’t drawn, you will be automatically be re-entered. Hope to see you there soon!

Blessed Be